Hard To Get? I don’t GET it!
It’s the classic story. Man 1 fancies man 2, man 2 may possibly fancy man 1 back. Simple enough? Well, possibly not.
Ok, so for argument’s sake we’ll call Man 1 Freddy and Man 2 Leo.
Let’s say that Leo is feeling like playing hard to get. Now, first off, aren’t there so many things wrong with that anyway? Freddy now has the problem of what to do. Should he play the game? And if he DOES play the game, then what is he going to get out of it?
And how exactly do you know when someone is playing hard to get? What’s the difference between being coy and not interested?
Of course, none of this answers the original question – Do games make RELATIONSHIPS work?
It all depends on the type of game being played. The hard to get game is a well known one. But does it make a relationship worthwhile, and is it a game worth playing?
If the whole point of the game is to make the relationship harder to get into, and to make one of the participants have to work harder then they normally would if the instigator of the game was feeling more co-operative, then why bother playing it in the first place?
Power seems to be the obvious answer. Leo sees that Freddy fancies him, and wants to make him work for it.
Sometimes, it’s not a case of wanting to see how dedicated they are, but simply because they get a kick out of being the leader. In starting this game, Leo is putting Freddy in a position that could be seen as quite vulnerable, because if Leo decides that Freddy isn’t playing the game well enough, then he can stop it at anytime he wants, and Freddy just ends up going home with only his hand for company that night.
Here’s a better example.Ok, so for argument’s sake we’ll call Man 1 Freddy and Man 2 Leo.
Let’s say that Leo is feeling like playing hard to get. Now, first off, aren’t there so many things wrong with that anyway? Freddy now has the problem of what to do. Should he play the game? And if he DOES play the game, then what is he going to get out of it?
And how exactly do you know when someone is playing hard to get? What’s the difference between being coy and not interested?
Of course, none of this answers the original question – Do games make RELATIONSHIPS work?
It all depends on the type of game being played. The hard to get game is a well known one. But does it make a relationship worthwhile, and is it a game worth playing?
If the whole point of the game is to make the relationship harder to get into, and to make one of the participants have to work harder then they normally would if the instigator of the game was feeling more co-operative, then why bother playing it in the first place?
Power seems to be the obvious answer. Leo sees that Freddy fancies him, and wants to make him work for it.
Sometimes, it’s not a case of wanting to see how dedicated they are, but simply because they get a kick out of being the leader. In starting this game, Leo is putting Freddy in a position that could be seen as quite vulnerable, because if Leo decides that Freddy isn’t playing the game well enough, then he can stop it at anytime he wants, and Freddy just ends up going home with only his hand for company that night.
My housemate – a bisexual guy who seems to think that power games could beat Nintendo hands down if there was a market for them, has two of us in the palm of his hands practically. Ironically, it’s me and my female housemate – so this Hovis Best Of Both has the picking.
He’s kissed both of us on nights out, but no more than that and although admittedly he seems to be more interested in my female housemate than me, it’s never really 100% clear if he wants to take things further with either of us.
This is where my problem with the hard to get game comes from. Both of us have given him ample opportunity to do whatever the hell he likes to us, and he has chosen to leave us both hanging.
Surely this isn’t going to help form any kind of intimate relationship? Because now me and my housemate are just losing interest, and he’s left with a stalemate – he played the game for too long, and has therefore lost his players.
Surely it’s a bit cocky of the instigator of the game? What makes them so sure that they’re worth playing with?
Now, please don’t think that I’m saying that the first moment that you realise that someone is interested in you should be your cue to get them home and shag them senseless. Some of my worst walks of shame have been the result of it all being too easy, and it doesn’t feel that great sometimes. But I do think that the game should only be indulged in if all players want to play.
My advice to anyone who finds themselves playing a game of hard to get without actually wanting to (cause some people actually like playing it!) is to walk away and find someone who actually wants to play some decent games...like strip poker.
It’s amazing what kind of things go through your head after a session of Sex And The City!
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